A desiderata for Carers


Look after yourself. 

 Be kind and affirm who you are.

Be loving, especially to yourself. 

 Learn all you can. 

 Remain focused on the person, who they are and 
do not forget this even when illness seems to deny it. 

 See the person but recognise their illness reality, so that 
you can understand the impact on both your lives.

Take space for yourself to heal your own wounds and 
losses. 

 Be gentle to yourself, especially when you 
struggle to make sense of the illness and its impact.

 Keep healthy by eating well and keep fit if you can. 
Do things you like to do, but be flexible as to how and 
when you do them; think in new ways. 

 Be together in whatever way is possible. 

 Do not let systems or people be divisive or come between you. 

 Do not “clientise” your loved one or let anyone else depersonalise them, so that your relationship stays strong. 

 Find ways of connecting as your essential selves. 

 Express your emotions safely. 

 Be all you know, in all you do.  

Greg & Linda Crowhurst (c) 2014

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